Monday, July 16, 2012

Ghosts of relationships past....

I ran into an ex while out with some friends this weekend.  It's amazing sometimes, though years can pass, how seeing someone from your past transports you to a different time and place.  Memories come back, both good and bad.  It's almost scary...thinking of the person I was then.  The lies I fell for.  The crap I put up with.  The support I gave to someone who needed me, and the memory of the pain that came when it all came tumbling down.  But I also remember the happy times, the ones I miss.  I think there are certain people who you never really get over.  You may not think of them everyday anymore.  But you realize they have, for better or worse, shaped your life in a way that will never go away.  You will never be the same person you were before you met them.  I loved this guy.  A lot.  Sadly, I will never be the trusting person I was before I met him.  I don't think I'll ever blindly trust someone like that again.  I'm not saying I'll never get over it, but it sure made me a more skeptical person. 

I have known guys who have hurt me worse than him, but at least they were honest about it.  At least they communicated.  At least they said, "sorry" when they really messed up.  They acknowledged it, and that makes all the differences. 

I can forgive people.  Its totally within my power to do so.  But it's really hard to forgive someone who never asked for it.  Never really apologized or acknowledged their wrongdoings.  So remember that next time you have to break someone's heart.  It's not fun.  Its going to suck.  But there's a right and a wrong way to go about it.  Go with the right way.  No need to damage that person more than needed.  Be honest.  Be straightforward.  Apologize for the things you did wrong and thank them for the good times.  When someone gives you their heart, take care of it, even if you have to return it in the end. 

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